On hunkering

Searching for January's benefits

It’s January. I don’t like January. Lately I wish it would crawl back into whatever hole it came from. It feels hostile.

Some people, like a few Michiganders I’ve known, thrive in the cold. My friend Mary told me once that the cold makes her feel alive. One year she volunteered to roof-sit for several days in January to raise money for the nonprofit where we worked. I thought she was crazy. Here in Colorado, skiers delight in the deep powdery snow and cold mountain air. I don’t. I prefer my skiing on unfrozen water behind a boat in the heat of summer.

For me, January feels emotionally dark and cold. Because of numerous family losses in January, my body remembers grief this time of year before my memories consciously bring it to mind. This year the lament is extra deep because the world and especially our country is not as it should be, to put it mildly. Those are valid emotions and concerns, and I don’t think it’s wise for myself or anyone else to try to paper over them. And so I feel them and remind myself that while they are part of the deal, they are not the whole deal. The light will return.

The literal dark and cold of winter dampen my spirits. I find myself pulling in. My body clenches even as I cocoon it in layers of warm clothing. I long for warmth and longer days.

Then I remember that this is what winter is for. Plants go dormant in the winter. Seeds lay in wait underground. But they are not dead. They are resting, gathering energy, waiting for just the right time to sprout new shoots.

For the past few years I’ve looked for ways to capture and create moments of joy, beauty, and warmth for myself as I hunker through winter. The Danish word hygge comes to mind. Scandinavian cultures know a thing or two about getting through the cold and dark. It’s a time to light the fireplace or at least some candles, bundle up in flannel and thick socks, sip hot tea or cocoa, make pots of soup--anything to increase the cozy factor.

As I write this, I look up hygge and learn it’s not just about making our homes cozy. The Danes see it as a fundamentally communal concept, meant to bring people together to counter the potential isolation of winter. "Hygge as an experience has a big social component. Being with others is at the core of the concept. The term is more readily used when people talk about their experience of being with someone," says Danish anthropologist Jeppe Linnet as quoted in Entrepreneur.

A quick internet search yields article after article about how carrying hygge principles into the workplace actually makes us more productive. Part of me doesn’t even want to go there because I think our hyper-focus on productivity is one contributor to our toxic workplaces. Our cultural message seems to be if something is not productive, it is a waste. I don’t believe that’s true. I believe we are a stressed, over-stimulated, exhausted people with shortened attention spans and stunted creativity because we push, or get pushed, to continually produce more or be considered slackers. But if thinking about productivity as a benefit gets us to slow down and connect as humans, let’s go there.

It makes sense that peak productivity requires periods of no productivity. It’s true of trees, it’s true of perennial herbs, it’s true of hibernating mammals, it’s true of butterflies. It’s literally true of humans, too. Other than taking care of themselves, mothers can’t do anything to produce a child. It happens unseen, in the dark, and it takes nine months.

Whether you own your own business or work in an organization, how can you contribute to a culture of hygge for yourself and your team.? Here are some ideas of what that might look like. I’m sure there are others.

Make coffee break dates with coworkers when you agree to talk about anything other than work. What’s going on in your lives? What matters to you? Eat lunch together if you find you both want longer conversations. What common ground can you find? What differences can you understand better and learn from?

Listen without judgment. Hygge creates a safe shelter in challenging weather. At work, translate that into safe communication—safe for everyone. Treat everyone with empathy. Respect everyone as fellow human beings navigating unique as well as shared challenges who also have something unique to contribute. And no gossip!

Bring in food to share. Baked goods come to mind. Why limit this to the holidays?

Start a book club.

Laugh together. Cry together without apology. You’re fellow humans, after all.

And two words: indirect lighting!

That’s all I’ve got for now. Time for another cup of tea.

Recommended reading:

Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times, by Katherine May

“Hygge Is How to Make Your Workplace Happier and Healthier.” Entrepreneur, Aug. 21, 2023