Your Words Have Power
The words we use both reveal and shape our thinking. Examples:
“You make me. . . “ -- When we say, “You make me mad/ sad/ happy/ etc,” we are giving up personal power to someone or something else. Try reframing: “I feel angry when . . .”
Building or earning trust? -- As Rachel Botsman, author of Who Can You Trust, has pointed out, when we talk about building trust, it’s different than talking about earning trust. Building assumes a position of control. Earning recognizes it’s up to the other person whether to trust us or not.
What kind of power? -- Those pesky little prepositions — over, with, to, within — make a world of difference. Pairing them with power makes that abundantly clear. Ponder these and the worldviews they reveal and reinforce:
Power over = a position of dominance
Power with = a position of collaboration
Power to = a position of advocacy and support
Power within = a position of self-awareness, wholeness, and maturity
Exerting power over automatically means you aren’t entering into any of the other three. The other three, however, harmonize beautifully. Good leadership is not about power over. Good leaders know the value of and demonstrate power with, to, and within. See more about these four types of power here.
Choose your words wisely. They might be communicating something you don’t intend — even to yourself.
Is your communication or that within your organization all it needs to be? Contact me to discuss options for coaching or consulting.
(This article first appeared in my website blog in Dec. 2021.)
This is so good.